Musings/8

i did not cry at
the funerals of men
and refrained from
wiping away the
tears of their
widows faces.

the houses were
drowning in the
sea of crowds

wailing
yelling
screeching
it was an elegy
in itself

i stood outside
at the porch with my
legs sucking down
in the quicksand
while the weight
of guilt danced
on my head

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Musings #6

I asked him to
give me thousand
reasons to stay.

He undressed his fragility
and confessed about his
recurring nightmares

He pointed out at the
most scarred areas and
let his tears become salt
on my skin.

And then,
I stayed
I stayed
I stayed

Sixth letter

Dear You,

I keep writing poems for you, stories of us living in a fairy tale. I write letters to you all day long, of which words look empty, sad and desolate.

Sometimes, it feels like they would die of so much of sadness in them.

My sister wants to read the poems and letters but I won’t let her. She insists, but still I won’t let her touch any. I’ve started liking the colour blue more. Because that’s what I feel most of the day now.

When the darkness creeps in it becomes strangely calmer. At night, I give up the weight of the world on my shoulders and sleep peacefully.

And then I dream of you, where we are still together, our eyes never leaving the sight of each other. Not even once. Where I try to give at least half of the love that you give me, that I didn’t do for real.

I try to not hurt you, like I did for real.

Love,

Me

Mistakes

Many a times we fail to realise our mistakes until the consequences of those start hitting on us. And then we start regretting over them. We start thinking how we could have done it differently.

Some try to not regret and work on making them right instead. But some just don’t find enough courage to even face their mistakes.

At the end, it’s all about the choice. Either we could try harder and make our present regret-free or just sit sulking around in a corner doing nothing, probably mess up everything. Remember, it’s all about the choice you make for yourself.

To the one who never said sorry

I used to spent my days sulking over the fact that despite of being the cause of my sadness, you never dared to utter a simple ‘sorry’. It was always easy for you but for me, every minute was like a torture in hell.

I was never able to digest your happiness and cursed my fate for days like these. I hated every single thing about you. My heart was always burning in the volcano of anger. They were volcanoes.

But I also realised that, how all these things made me the most unhappy person in the world. This was killing me but I won’t let it happen. Because, you still didn’t care enough. My dreams, feelings, tears nothing mattered to you.

So, I decided to let go. I let go off my hatred for you. I let go off the fire of anger and disappointment and I was no longer going to curse my fate for you. Because my soul, deserved peace.

I have decided to step down and move on. But stepping down doesn’t mean that I lost anything, instead I found everything that I was always looking for. I was able to look around for people who really mattered to me and you were not the one. Anymore.

To the one who was never sorry, I forgive you.

Pride

The day you left was like a apocalypse waiting to happen for a long, long time.

My entire world came crumbling down, the moment you said goodbye.

As you left, a part of me also went along with you.

I craved, not for that part but for you.

But, I don’t regret letting you go.

You wanted to change my individual existence. You wanted to crush my identity, that I had established after eons and eons of toiling. And this, wasn’t possible.

I know, only magic can help me to forget all your memory.

But one thing that I could be always proud of is, I don’t regret letting you go.

Wildflower

Naive, simpleton as she appears,

But at heart, she is a wildflower,

Braving the ravenous cold winds and,

The tempestuous storms, all by herself.

She’s worth all the love around her,

Her tears are no ordinary; 

Every drop from her penetrating eyes 

Resemble the pearls in an oyster.

Vivacious and passionate she is,

Her presence is like a wisp of fresh air,

But has a mind, filled with madness

Of her electric personality.

She deserves to be placed amongst the, 

Blazing stars, out there in the sky.

She has the rage of the Sun,
And the calmness of a Moon.

Naive, simpleton as she appears,

At heart she is a wildflower.