Musings #6

I asked him to
give me thousand
reasons to stay.

He undressed his fragility
and confessed about his
recurring nightmares

He pointed out at the
most scarred areas and
let his tears become salt
on my skin.

And then,
I stayed
I stayed
I stayed

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Musings of a healing heart #2

Accept that you are not okay right now. Accept that you aren’t yet ready to rise after such a nasty fall.

Accept that you need to work and take care of yourself. That these clouds won’t loom over your head forever and a bright, golden sunshine is waiting for you.

Accept your fears and fight them.

Accept and not deny. Denial will only lead you to fall into the deeper pit, in darkness and clawing your way back in will be painstaking.

And if you really want to deny something, deny giving up.

Acceptance opens the door towards healing whereas Denial is a barrier to it.

PS: This title thing is really getting too difficult for me

I hope

I hope you realise how beautiful you are. And with beautiful, I don’t mean your looks, but your soul. Your kind, loving, courageous and a selfless soul.

I hope you look beyond your flaws and blemishes. I hope you notice the virtues that you own, the virtues that make you a better human being.

I hope you understand how life is not supposed to be easy. It will give you moments of sheer joy and happiness, but it will also give you the thrills, the tears, the setbacks.

I hope you try to find peace and not just by meditating. Find peace in watching the sunrise and sunset, peace in the innocent smile of a baby, a sight of two people in love or just by sitting at the coffee shop, reading your favourite book.

I hope you calm down and relax. I hope you cut yourself from the shackles of a daily routine and do what you always wanted to.

Go partying at night with your best friends, plan a small trip, go to an unknown destination, meet new people.

I hope you fall in love. Fall in love with yourself, the scars, the vices, the real unfiltered you.

I just hope, you fall in love with your life.

PS: I guess my posts have become a bit repetitive.

The Strongest

I am re-reading books that meant nothing to me a few years ago. I am listening to songs that I don’t even like. The day begins with a heaviness and the nights seem a little too longer. I have a corner in the house for myself and my solitude.

My dingy and craziest thoughts that would otherwise give me shivers of pain, find a solace in that corner. My mother says, I am her strongest child. The more sorted one.

Probably, she hasn’t been able to venture into my darkest places and look there. I feel sad for her, as she is in an illusion that her daughter cannot break easily.

But mom, the truth is, I am already shattered and falling into pieces. And I struggling to out them back again in places.

Yet, I am living. Courageously and with head held high. Because, you survived this way all your life. You never let the boat of your strength capsize into the ocean of those who depised you.

Yes, I am okay. I’ll fight. I’ll survive. As I am your daughter. Exactly your shadow.