I hope

I hope you realise how beautiful you are. And with beautiful, I don’t mean your looks, but your soul. Your kind, loving, courageous and a selfless soul.

I hope you look beyond your flaws and blemishes. I hope you notice the virtues that you own, the virtues that make you a better human being.

I hope you understand how life is not supposed to be easy. It will give you moments of sheer joy and happiness, but it will also give you the thrills, the tears, the setbacks.

I hope you try to find peace and not just by meditating. Find peace in watching the sunrise and sunset, peace in the innocent smile of a baby, a sight of two people in love or just by sitting at the coffee shop, reading your favourite book.

I hope you calm down and relax. I hope you cut yourself from the shackles of a daily routine and do what you always wanted to.

Go partying at night with your best friends, plan a small trip, go to an unknown destination, meet new people.

I hope you fall in love. Fall in love with yourself, the scars, the vices, the real unfiltered you.

I just hope, you fall in love with your life.

PS: I guess my posts have become a bit repetitive.

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Seventh letter

Last night, I was watching ‘The Notebook’. I’ve always loved the movie and never missed a chance to catch up on it. Suddenly, I remembered how you hated it.

Not just one, you disliked all the hardcore romantic movies I used to watch. Still, you always sat down beside me.

I realised how you never tried to make me feel that you are tied down or stuck. Rather you’d smile along with me the whole time. I wonder how many times you’ve ditched your own feelings to not hurt mine.

How many times you gave up your happiness to wipe my tears away? With these thoughts rioting in my mind, my heart ached with sadness. Sadness for you. Sadness for us.

And then, I switched off the movie. Instead, I watched the one you loved. Till the end. I bet at that moment, I saw you smile. Real.

Sixth letter

Dear You,

I keep writing poems for you, stories of us living in a fairy tale. I write letters to you all day long, of which words look empty, sad and desolate.

Sometimes, it feels like they would die of so much of sadness in them.

My sister wants to read the poems and letters but I won’t let her. She insists, but still I won’t let her touch any. I’ve started liking the colour blue more. Because that’s what I feel most of the day now.

When the darkness creeps in it becomes strangely calmer. At night, I give up the weight of the world on my shoulders and sleep peacefully.

And then I dream of you, where we are still together, our eyes never leaving the sight of each other. Not even once. Where I try to give at least half of the love that you give me, that I didn’t do for real.

I try to not hurt you, like I did for real.

Love,

Me

About you

Dear You

Yesterday, I told him about you. I told him about the day we first met. I told him about the day, we ran away from the Christmas party to be somewhere peaceful and had our own slow dance under the moonlight.

I told him about the day, we fought with each other only because you said that Friends sucks. I told him about the day, you wiped my tears before planting a kiss on my lips. And how in that moment, every wrong felt right.

The kiss didn’t take my breath away but made me feel safe.

What I didn’t tell him is that, I miss you. Everyday, I try to find you in him. That, I feel like cheating on you by being with him. I don’t feel like home in his heart. It has been with you. It was always you.

Yesterday, I told him about you.

Love,

Me

Learned to stay

All my life, I was taught that human heart is fragile. So, I’ve been running away from people who could break it and also from those who didn’t want to. The problem with me is, I can’t stay.

It was Christmas. The streets basked in the glory of starry lights, illuminating the face of even the saddest person in the crowd. People were screaming, dancing merrily, singing despite the loud music and then, it was you. Standing besides me, wearing a black hoodie, your smile eclipsing even the Christmas lights.

I thought about all the times when I had protected my heart from breaking. I thought about all the people, I ran away from. Lastly, I thought about you. Suddenly, I realised that I was not longer running. Finally, I had learned to stay.

Hold on

There’s a reason why we hold on to some people for too long. Everytime you try to let go a little, the more you cling to them. You know that they won’t reply, still you don’t want to lose a single opportunity of getting them back again. You don’t mind calling them 20 times a day, even apologizing for for mistakes that you didn’t even commit. You always remind them of your cute little memories, having time of your lives. Those late night conversations, morning brunches, surprise birthday parties and the way you pick up each others scattered pieces. That’s the kind of impact some people create on our lives. The problem is, you gave them a bit if too much of yourself and now it’s so difficult to get it all back.

Not that girl

All those letters, I wanted to send you, now rest peacefully inside the four walls of my cupboard. I don’t wish to send them. Because, the girl that penned those sad words down, is not there anymore.

I am not that girl, who would constantly look at the phone in case you text me or something like that.

I am not that girl, who would sit at the park bench and sulk at the happiness around.

I am not that girl, who would spend sleepless nights thinking about what could have possibly went wrong.

I am not that girl anymore.

I am that girl, who believes that some things in this world doesn’t stay forever, it has to end someday. Even the pain.

I am that girl, who believes that to survive here you don’t need anybody else to love you. You can be your own lover too.

I am that girl, who believes that if it didn’t work out with you, maybe it will work with someone more better.

Promises

Don’t give me promises. Through the years, I’ve learnt that promises are the most vulnerable things in the world. They can be easily broken, like you break a twig. And, I don’t want them anymore. I’ve had enough. Instead, show me. Show me, that you love. Show me, that you really care. Show me, that the brightest places of mine doesn’t make you insecure or my darkest sides doesn’t make you feel like walking away. But don’t promise me anything. Because, life isn’t just a fairy tale with everything perfect and I, darling, believe in actions.

Winter and memories

Some people don’t really go away from our lives. One moment, you think they you are finally over them and the next moment, as you look out of the window on a chilly winter night, a cool breeze brushes past of your face, fleeting all those memories together. You end up in a place, from where you are always trying to escape. The truth is they never went. They were always there, somewhere curled up inside you, fading away in the summer mornings and coming back with the winter breeze, again and again.