Trace

I have waited
long enough
to be loved by
somebody else.

Someone who was
a picture in my dreams,
caressing my tender back,

entwined hands,
whispering softly, with
a mint-like breath.

I failed to realise
that dreams are made
of glass, that break
taking your heart away
to an isolated place.

What I see now, is
not a picture but
shadow that’s fading.
like the moon wanes
until one day when it
finally disappears
into the pitch-black sky.

And this shadow will
also disappears one day,
without leaving a trace.

Advertisements

This is me

This is me expunging all your memories from the past.

This is me getting over the songs that you made me listen and the movies that we watched together, tucked in a blanket with my hand wrapped in yours.

This is me not getting up in the middle of the night, to see if you’d dropped in a message saying that you’re sorry. That you want to get back together, and that you made a mistake walking away.

This is me deleting your number from my phone because whenever it rings, I don’t wish that it be yours.

This is me finally ready to answer all the suspecting questions of the people.

This is me not getting pissed off when they hang their heads in false concerns for me.

This is me not getting uncomfortable with the thought that, one day you are gonna meet someone and fall in love once again.

This is me not caring enough about you.

This is me reading my favourite romance novels again and again. Despite of all the cruelty in love, I still believe that the world is a better place to find someone.

I still believe that, not everyone is the same.

This is me letting go everything that makes me sad and wander towards obscurity. This is me letting you go.

This is me, loving myself more than anybody else. This is me, healing.

This is me, beautiful, like my own constellation.

Soulmate

To the one who has always been there for me.

To the one, who lifts me up when the world throws me down.

To the one, who replies to every text message no matter what and answers every damn call.

To the one, who turns my sobbing conversations and continuous rant into a laugh riot.

To the one, who never complains or gets tired of my unexpected drunk calls.

To the one, who sends ugly Snapchat pictures to cheer me up whenever I am upset.

To the one, who advises me on relationships and is my solace in heartbreaks.

To the one, who criticises me for my bad habits but loves me anyway.

To the one, who has been a part of my life for a short time but feels like we have known each other for ever.

To the one, who is a part of all my cherishing memories and also of those to come.

To the one, who believes that I deserve all the love, success and infinite happiness.

To the one, I am proud to have as my best friend.

To the one, who will always have my back. For eternity.

To the one, who is my first and only true love in the world.

You are not just my best friend. You are my soulmate.

Don’t lose her

Don’t lose her if she is the first person you call when in any crisis.

Don’t lose her if she doesn’t mind picking up your call even at 4am in the morning.

Don’t lose her if she asks you to text her on reaching home, only because she wants to make sure that you are safe and fine. Because she cares about you.

Don’t lose her if she takes time out of her hectic schedule to have a conversation with you, just because you want to talk.

Don’t lose her if she is the one who never judges you. Don’t lose her if she accepts you just the way you are, whole-heartedly.

Don’t lose her if she never tries change you. Don’t lose her if you stay the unfiltered, real version of yourself when you are with her.

Don’t lose her if she doesn’t expresses her excitement and happiness over something happened to her at work, just because you are sad.

Don’t lose if she makes you feel beautiful about yourself.

Don’t lose her if you feel complete and worthy with her.

Don’t lose her if she is the answer to all your questions about love.

A person like her is a precious gem. Don’t lose her. Never.

Cynefin

The inextricable knots of my life are kind of unraveling, since the day I met you. I no longer feel weak at any part of my body, instead I am gaining strength from the very same pain.

It’s like, I have finally found a secret hallway leading my way out from the past into the present and a bright future. Maybe, that’s because you were as broken as I was.

Being with a person who endured a similar pain, gives you a sense of belongingness. You know that if no one doesn’t, this person is always going to understand the kind of struggles you go through.

You! You are my cynefin. And it’s beautiful, when two wounded souls help each other to find the lost pieces of this puzzling and messed up life.

Cynefin: (Welsh) A place where a person or an animal feels it ought to live and belong; it is where the nature around you feels right and welcoming.

Never letting you go

“You can’t let me go”, she said in her soft, mellow voice and tears in her eyes. I stood in front of the window, frozen and stoic, but my ears could clearly hear her whispering sobs as she cried.

There was a wave of deathly silence in the air and between us, hurting the ears. Minutes later, the door banged and she was gone. Outside, the sun sank into darkness and the russet sky was slowly turning into grey.

Suddenly, my mind shifted back to the day when I saw her for the first time. She had unbridled hair, wore out of fashion clothes but had a heart-warming smile. She laughed unabashedly, not caring of what others might think about her.

She was a girl with the heart of gold who knew nothing but love and kindness. A girl who would always appreciate even your flaws and never make you feel bad about them. That girl, she was gone.

I let her go. The one person, who I love more than anything in this world. I let go that person, who loved me when I couldn’t even love myself. At that moment, I realised what I had lost. I lost a star.

A car shrieked outside and I woke up hurriedly, realising that I had been sleeping. Somebody opened the door. It was her, with her ever beaming smile.

“Honey, did I disturb you?”, she asked and I quickly stood up to hug her tight. She was startled with my sudden showing of love, but gave up anyway. And I could only whisper, “I love you. I am never letting you go”.

Image: Silver Linings Playbook

Stay

Stay, for the countless moments we had created together

For the many hurdles that we had battled past triumphantly

For the empty mornings and the prickling nights

For the graceful springs and the hopeful rains

Stay, because there’s nothing more beautiful than to love and to be loved back.

Stay, because like seasons, circumstances change

Stay, because I want you to.

The daughter you loved.

You had once said, that as you held my tiny hands, every pain, the sorrows and regrets faded away.

You had once said, that I look like an angel, creating magic with my ever-calming smile.

You had once said, that you cried like a child, seeing me in a school uniform for the first time. For you never wanted me grow up and forever stay as your little princess.

You had once said, that my husband didn’t loved me enough. As no other man could ever love me more than you do.

You had once said, you want to meet me in the next birth too. Not much to your surprise, I wanted the same.

And today Dad,

How could you just forget, what you had once said?

Is it not hurting for you to lose the daughter, you have loved the whole life?

For me, it hurts Dad!

It feels like, needles piercing me every hour. 

I break into million pieces every day, when you refuse to recognize me.

Every tear from my eyes, pleads you. Pleads you to call my name, at least once. Pleads you to reminisce the moments and memories, that we had held so dear.

Dad,

Why you seem so far from all of us and me, despite being so close?

Alzheimer’s is dreadful, for the person who just forgot the memories of his long life. Isn’t it saddening to learn that you don’t remember the days of your life? A life, where you always strived harder to make it memorable. A life, that’s not only made of your sweat and blood but with the people you have always loved. It’s heartbreaking for people whose parents don’t remember them. We lose our mind, if our one day out of the blue, our best friend ceases to talk with us. Imagine the plight the sons, daughters who lose their life, their parents to this disease.

Irresistible

There is something about the way you talk. Your husky masculine voice bewitches and comforts me. Your words glide through my ears and pull every strings of my melting heart.

There is something about the way you walk. Your athletic body always makes me go weak in my knees. 

There is something about the way you smile. Watching your soft lips take a curve is the most captivating thing to be ever seen by me. Every time you smile, I fall for you, harder.

There is something about the way you hold me. Whenever you entwine your velvety hands around my waist, it sends a quiver through my every vein.

There is something about the way you sleep. When you close your deep brown eyes, resting your head on the pillow, my heart races faster seeing you that way. While asleep, you still look beautiful and perfect.

All this makes you just so irresistible!